So my goal is to write a post at least once a week…maybe on Monday mornings. Mondays are basically our Saturdays anyways since we are at farmer’s market all day. On Sundays we have church and often do something with friends and family, so Mondays are our day to relax (or at least try to!). Well, obviously I didn’t write anything on Monday…or Tuesday. Chad keeps encouraging me to be consistent on here, but I just never know what to say that’s interesting to other people. And then I read a blog post earlier this week from a fellow mother who writes simply about her life: her struggles, her hopes, or daily activities, but a lot about her feelings. She talked about how she wishes there were more blogs like that because anymore they are focused on one subject, like cooking, fitness, or finance. It was encouraging to read the comments on her post as well. People relate to feelings. And I have LOTS of feelings! So many that I could probably write two posts a day on here! I think I’m saying all this because I’ve been feeling a little blah lately. I’m tired, have very little motivation, and have been rather negative ( Chad would agree!).
I’m pretty sure my problem is simply myself! I am so hard on myself and have been my entire life. I remember before I even got pregnant being so fearful that I would be a bad mom. And the whole time I was pregnant I worried about the same thing. I had BIG plans for being a stay-at-home mom. And yes, I’ve done most of the “granola-hippie mama” things I intended. But there are several things I just don’t have the energy to do. Like make ALL my own food. I was going to make Eden food from all natural products, but if I’m honest she probably ate a whole sleeve of Keebler club crackers today. And I sometimes use Johnson and Johnson baby wash (instead of the natural stuff) because I have tons of it from all my showers. And I let her eat pizza and chocolate pudding this week. Eden has now watched 3 episodes of Baby Einstein today and originally I wasn’t going to let her watch tv at all. Plus, I asked Chad if he would cook dinner tonight because I just don’t know if I can muster up the energy to do it. And it’s so easy to tell myself I suck at life and that I’m a horrible mom and I’ve failed miserably! I know what you’re thinking. But I know I’m NOT the only mom who does this. We are all hard on ourselves. But we must stop it! We can’t do it all. We have to stop comparing ourselves to other mamas (and people in general). And we must quit putting opinions from other people in our head, because most of the time they probably don’t even think those things about us! If our children are alive, healthy, and thriving I think we are doing a pretty awesome job!
On top of beating myself up, I think I’ve been so blah lately because we basically do the same things everyday. Eden and I sleep in, we eat breakfast, I wash eggs and laundry, and straighten up the house. She takes a nap in the afternoon while I read or do housework. Then we help daddy with evening chicken/turkey chores. It’s pretty boring and repetitive sometimes. I think it’s so easy for stay-at-home mamas to get in that rut. Once my sprained ankle gets healed up and Eden’s hives go away (she had a reaction to a vaccine) we are going to plan 2 out-of-the-ordinary activities per week! They might be on the farm or they might be in town, but that’s my new goal! If we don’t keep it fresh I know we will both be miserable and bored.
So if you’re reading this and your a mom please be encouraged to know you’re not the only one who is ridiculously hard on themselves and feels “blah” sometimes. You are awesome and doing a great job! Sometimes you just gotta give the kid her cracker and movie if that’s what will keep everyone sane and happy. Don’t beat yourself up about it! (I’m talking to myself here). And if you’re a stay-at-home mom (or even a working mom) who feels like your life is getting boring or repetitive go and do something spontaneous. Chad and I are planning a hike for my birthday next month and I can’t wait! Go on a picnic, put together a puzzle as a family, bake cookies, or go to the zoo! Sometimes the simplest things make a difference and brighten yours and your whole family’s mood.
I know when I’m feeling “blah” or like I’m not the mom I feel I should be I simply grab my little princess and hug her tight. She’s my whole world and I know I’m hers. At the end of the day that’s all that matters. So go find your little one and remind yourself of that! 🙂