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Fun Family Evening Out

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Fun Family Evening Out

Farm life often makes it hard to do things as a family away from the farm.  We get lots of family time working outside, and we eat dinner as a family just about every night.  However,  it’s not always the easiest to get the three of us together to go out and do something fun and special off of the farm.  Chad makes deliveries three times a week and barely manages to stay on top of the responsibilities of the farm the days he is home.  On Thursday evening we had an opportunity to do something together and we took it!  My wonderful mother-in-law helped to get us a membership to the Tulsa zoo a while back.  Normally Eden and I go by ourselves but the zoo had a special event so they stayed open until 8pm.  Chad delivers our chicken, eggs, and produce to Tulsa on Thursday afternoons so he met us at the zoo when he was finished.  We had such a wonderful time as our little family of three!  I was so incredibly thankful that even though we’re all tired and really needed to be at the farm to work on things that we decided to take the opportunity for a little bit of fun and family time!  Sometimes that’s more important than getting things done! 🙂

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Off to the zoo to meet daddy!!!

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Oh my heart…I’m so blessed to have these two.

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She took Chad’s hat and put it on.  So cute!

 

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Daddy’s little girl.

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3 going on 13!

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Man, I love this man!

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Family selfie on the train!

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She has to take a picture on this rhino every time we come to the zoo!

 

Not Alone

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Not Alone

As you’ve noticed, I haven’t posted anything since last March.  I’ve thought about it several times, but then I get overwhelmed about what to say and I overthink the whole thing and give up.  But today I don’t care.  Today I’m going to be me.  Since I moved to this farm just over 4 years ago, I’ve been trying so hard to fit in.  For one, my liberal views and hippie mama ideas don’t exactly mesh well with most of Pawnee County (though by the blessings of God I’m slowly finding some wonderful like-minded mama friends!).  And then there’s the whole trying to fit in on a farm with a farm family when you grew up on a paved road 10 minutes from town with a dream of either living in Africa or suburbia when you grew up.  Some days I feel incredibly alone.  Physically alone, but mostly alone in my thoughts, dreams, and passions.  Most days I’m fine and happy and thankful we live out here surrounded by God’s raw beauty.  But some days (or weeks) I’m not.  Being a stay-at-home mom is hard enough when you’re not isolated from the rest of the world.  But then throw in several dreary rainy days in a row and finding the energy and motivation to wash dishes, fold the laundry, and build play-do castles is just plain hard.

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This was my living room a couple weeks ago, and it pretty much looks the same today! And I have no idea what Eden Is doing!? Ha ha!

I guess I’m writing this to let you know it’s okay to have a bad day…or a bad week.  I get so sick and tired of Facebook and Instagram because sometimes that’s my only connection to the outside world and everyone looks so perfect and happy.  All the stay-at-home-moms are having the best day of their lives in their work-out clothes (with makeup) drinking their latte while their 3 year old naps for 3 hours.  I know that mama has bad days.  I only post the good stuff too…that’s why I’m writing this.

I’m writing this to let all the mamas know they are not alone.  We are not alone.  Even if you’re not a mom you are not alone.  I think everyone desires to be known deeply.  Everyone desires to have companions.  Unfortunately, there are times in our lives where those things are hard to come by.  I’ve tried really hard this year to be consistent in my “Jesus time” everyday.  I have been using “New Morning Mercies” devotional by Paul David Tripp and it is AMAZING!  God has been speaking to me in so many ways, but I have been so encouraged and comforted by knowing that God knows me.  The God of the Universe knows ME and He WANTS to know me…deeply.  Psalm 139: 1-6 says,

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

No matter how alone I feel or how badly I just want someone to “get” me or to care about the things I care about or actually listen and try to understand what I’m saying GOD DOES.  He “gets” me.  He knows my heart.

Another thing I struggle deeply with is wanting to please people.  I want so badly for the people around me to approve of me, to like me, to encourage what I’m doing…and what we are doing as a family.  I think a lot of us women (and it gets worse when you become a mom) struggle with this.  The good news is it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!   Galatians 1:10 say,

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

I have to remind myself daily that it does not matter what others think, but what God thinks.  I could write an entire post about caring too much about what others think but I’ll save that for another rainy day. 

Bottom line is:  it’s okay to have a bad day, but remember you are not alone.  And mamas out there: y’all are doing a great job.  Do what is best for you and your family.  Don’t get overwhelmed by little comments your neighbor Sally said about you still nursing your 3 year old or about the fact that you let your boy toddler play with your makeup or tea set.  Will worrying about those comments/opinions matter in 10 years?  Nope!

Now that I’ve got that out and wallowed in my self-pity I’m going to go get something done around here…starting with washing the pee out of our queen-size bed sheets since we’re co-sleeping hippies! 😉

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We made butterflies during craft time! 🙂

The Boys in Her Life

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Almost every morning Eden’s Papa Dan and Uncle Jake come in and get her to feed the cows.  As soon as they walk in the door she goes running to them.  (And I definitely appreciate the hour I get to myself to do housework or simply read a book!)  We knew before she was even born she would be the light of her Papa’s life and that he would take her on many adventures and spoil her rotten with fun things to do around the farm.  It melts my heart too see her with the boys, whether it’s just her Papa or all three of them.  She will grow up not realizing her childhood is rare and special.  She will grow up with lots of adventures and “field trips” as I like to call them.  Whether she is riding in the combine or tractor, playing in the shop, or simply riding along in the truck feeding cows she is having the time of her life and making so many happy memories.

Yesterday I needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air so I went feeding with them and I got to sit in the back seat and watch Eden as they fed.  It reminded me of when I was a little girl and fed cows with my grandpa in the winter time.  I will forever cherish those memories, as I’m sure Eden will.  Papa Dan lets her push the on and off button on the controller for the hay bed each time they use it and when Uncle Jake goes to open the gate she gets in his seat and knows to scoot back over when he comes back.  She moos and points to the cows when they come running and puts her hand on the window when the horses are near in hopes to pet one.  It melted my heart to see her yesterday, just like it does anytime she is spending time with one or all of the boys.

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Eden feeding cows with Papa Dan & Uncle Jake!

I know I say this ALL THE TIME, but I am truly beyond thankful she will grow up out here on this farm.  But I am even more thankful that she has three men that love on her and teach her new things each and every day.  They show her what hard work and discipline are, and teach her important values, plus she gets to have lots of fun too.

As I’m writing this all three boys are in here by the fire warming up for a bit playing with her and laughing.  She’s one lucky girl to have them.  And I’m one lucky mama that she has them too.

 

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This moment super melted my heart!  I took this picture from our living room window without any of them even knowing it.  I remember watching them for several minutes and soaking in all the love and attention she was getting.  All three of them (though Chad is hiding in this picture) were playing with Eden on the back of the drill. She was running back and forth and having the time of her life!

 

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Eden in the combine with Uncle Jake!

 

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I remember this day because it was the first time Eden rode on Chad’s shoulders while we moved the chicken house! Always new and fun things going on!